ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
