And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
