K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
