I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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