yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize