If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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