the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
be right there i have to get my cape
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
