But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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