Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
