Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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