Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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