his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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