I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
