The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
