I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I understand Curling. That high.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
