I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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