I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
