I look better un-naked...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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