"it" just moved
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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