I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
