C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize