Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
