Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
