You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
