they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
