yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize