dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
