The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
