I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize