she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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