would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
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