My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
