I look better un-naked...
i think i have herpe
just one?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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