I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize