I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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