nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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