Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
