i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
