Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize