I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
