VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
That reminds me...we need to get swords
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
