Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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