would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
