I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
