I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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