rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We had to coat check the pizza.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
