jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Let's get the cat blown out
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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