i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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