i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
