so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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