people are starting to question the shark bite story
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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