Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
