Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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