she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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