So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I've blown a few things in my day
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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