wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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