id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
