do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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