y did u give ur computer a hand job?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
