I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We just shotgunned beers for America
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
my liver is dry heaving
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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