Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
