Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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