Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize