i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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