Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize