We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
