Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Is this like a preordered booty call?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize